Break dance not hearts.

There's a first for everything. :)

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 13:34:27 GMT

To the firsts. :)

To my first kiss with eyes closed.

To my first never ending hug.

To the first touch that made me feel truly safe.

To the first time someone ever paid for my movie ticket.

To the first time receiving frogs as a gift.

To the first time ever receiving a sorry gift.

To the first time in ages to pass notes in class.

To the first text that only said "Hi baby.:)" and made my heart flutter.

To the first fight that snapped my wrist.

To the first time being protected at all times.

To the first time crying over someone I haven't know for all too long.

To the first person who's cried over me, in front of me.

To the first time cutting classes with someone you love.

To the first time being in the train and hugging.

To the first you-know-whats.

To the first conversation I actually enjoyed having.

To the first person that's ever called me "Carla" with the most sincere voice.

To the first time having my hand kissed.

To the first time running around like crazy kids.

To the first YOU. My one and only. There will never be another you. There will never be other firsts like the ones we've had. To more firsts, and hopefully, lasts with you :) I love you so much. :*

Love vs. Lust

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 01:30:38 GMT

One afternoon stand.
Oh dear. It was the greatest, the wildest, the best.
People, clear your mind from the green.
Let's be civil adults here.

Oh you. I can't seem to get you out of my mind. Every move I make just makes me cringe and desire for you more. Boo. :(

I want you.

Can't you see that? :(

Something's come over me.

Sun, 31 May 2009 04:20:01 GMT

It's weird. How I actually can't remember any reason of why I used to love you.
Maybe it's because I look at you know and there's no resemblance to the old you.
Physically, and emotionally.
You are who you are now and I can't blame you for being that way.
But do realize, that what you are now is mostly because of me. Of how I hurt you.
And no matter how much you banish me from your life, you'll soon realize that I'm a bigger part of it now than I ever was.

I never really had a doubt.

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 13:15:21 GMT

My tolerance for alcohol has been failing me.
I've been finding myself drunk lately =)) And I don't know if that's a good thing or not. HAHA.
Anyway, today was fun.
Went to Taft kanina, spur of the moment inuman with JesyLabs and IzzaLabs :D Haha :P
I don't know what the hell we drank, it was gooooood =p~
Tomorrow ulit. Take two na :D Haha. Hilo na meeee.

Until the elephants fly up up up in the skyyyyy,
Carlalala.
FOREVER22 :-*

A billion people and all you need is one.

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:17:40 GMT

Hey hello. :D Long time no update, eh? Well, no one cares anyway. This is just some lame blog I update when I get the chance. :)) HAHA. News about me..

1. I just graduated high school! \:D/
2. I'm attending DLSU :D
3. My baby might might might come home on June, July or whenever. I don't care. :D As long as G does, then I'm down with that ;;) Haha.
4. My exes are still a-holes. What's new right? ;)
5. I'm turning 16 in 13 days! :D

Well, there's not much to say since I last blogged. I'm in a new relationship. :) 2 months now and we're very happy. The early stages always are, as I believe. But hopefully, this will be an awesome roller coaster ride. G's greaaaat. :D I'm real happy. Although we do encounter the occasional jealous bug, we never fail to make up after. Long distance relationships are HARD work. Truly. Anyway. That'll be all for now. New layout too! :D Yey! :D

Until the elephants fly,
Carlalala <3

New love. New me. New everything. :)

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 12:45:41 GMT

It's been so long since I've blogged! Well, maybe not so long, too long. :)) Since the last time I've blogged, I've made more mistakes, more rash judgements, and more kagaguhans to make it exact. Despite all those, I've been better than, say, 5 months ago? Haha. While Patricia Anne is finally out of my life, and, well I'd be lying if I said I was happy about it -- just reaaaaaaally relieved. :) Things have been turning out okay, even though they don't turn out how I'd want them to, it still somehow makes me smile or at least breathe for a while. :P I've found a new love, yes. Well, I'd love to say it's M. But, my new love, is singing. HAHAHA. Weird, right? I never really knew how to sing, but now, it seems that I can't stop. :)) Kidding asides. Yes, my new love is Mycah. Haha. Although we're over now, well lets just say, that part of me stays. The whole "I can't let her go :(" carla drama, is still present in me. :)) Maybe I should resolve that. Soon, soon. :) But for now, I say, it's okay to stick to her. Haha. There's nothing wrong in holding on a while, right? Hm, what else. What else. I've been dancing again \:D/ Although, my knees are getting worse. :| Err. I might rest for a while, then go back this summer :D Hm, I don't really wanna rant about anything right now. I guess I'm cool with life :> Haha. Although, things could seriously be better. Say, having her back? /:( Haha. But while that's not happening, well I have entrance exams to worry about. Lost my ref. no. for DLSU damn it. BTW, DOTS IS BACK! :"> Super ka duper mother effin happy to have my Marco Donato back :D I missed you, love :-* Anywaaaay. I'll get back. Sooner than later, I hope. :)

Til the elephants flyyy,
Carlywaryyy <3
27.[?] Hmm.

It found a way back to me :)

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 12:47:32 GMT

1 yr and 7 months of just believing that we liked each other. 1 yr and 7 months, not holding on to any promises, just whatever felt right. 1 yr and 7 months of trust in each other. THAT is something :P 2 years after, with everything we've both gone through I guess it's still there. The old me that really liked her :P ARGH. I don't wanna jinx it :> I'm just really happy. Like lang naman eh, but RARR. It feels so weird and good that it's still in me. Whatever I felt back in 6th grade is what I still feel :D I just needed a few wrong turns to make it right :D

Thank you, Kuya Jess :)

There's never a right time to say goodbye.

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 10:08:55 GMT

After my 2 failed attempts at suicide, I might just be giving up.

BUT NO, I've found a better way to kill myself.

I love Triguez. ALWAYS.

Wed, 28 May 2008 05:31:06 GMT

Some people wake up with huge smiles on their faces.
Some people wake up with the love of their lives beside them.
Some people, wake up with fingers crossed hoping that this day is better than the one that just passed.

I never knew I had it, when I had it. Now that I've lost it, I want it back.

UGH. WELCOME TO MY CRAZY MESSED UP WORLD.

Can't let you go.

Mon, 12 May 2008 04:13:09 GMT

When's the right time to love you?
I say.. EVERYDAY.

Everyday is the perfect day to love you. :> Everyday is the best time for US. I know we're perfect for each other. :>

Believe in me when I tell you my love for you is enough. My love for you is enough to last a lifetime.

BABY I LOVE YOU AND I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO, BUT IF I HAVE TO, GIRL I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW THE LOVE WE MADE CAN NEVER BE ERASED. AND I PROMISE YOU THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE REPLACED. <3

Nobody understands.

Sun, 11 May 2008 12:08:22 GMT

I understand how everybody's trying to help, but the fact is none of you have been stuck in 2 year relationships. None of you understand that what happened to me can't be healed by time. None of you understand that I am totally and irrevocably STILL in love with her. Not even she understands that. She thinks that it's a load of crap.

All I've been trying to do is win her back. I have this notion in my dinky little brain telling me to fight for it. I'm tired, yeah. But love has no end, my love for her will not end until the right time. THIS is not the right time. Nor is Nina the right girl for her. I don't believe that. And sure, she's gonna get mad when I put her girl's name on my blog. Fact is, no one reads this blog except her.

I try to forget our good times so I'll ponder on the bad memories and regret this all happened and move on. But I don't have any bad memories. I was showered with love for 2 years. Yes, there were problems. But nothing that we couldn't solve.

Now she tells me Nina didn't steal her from me cos she wasn't mine. So what happened for 2 years? Were those 2 years a very clear dream that hurts whenever I acknowledge the fact that I am awake? I don't wanna wake up. I never pondered on the end of that dream. It was an open book with never ending chapters. I wanted to keep on loving her.

Every memory, every song, every color, every sound, every place is connected to her -- because she was all I had. She was all I ever wanted to have.

I think of suicide sometimes, thinking that life's not worth living without her. It is, you know. She was my purpose for everything. Every decision I made was based on how she'd react to it. I wanted her to be proud of me, to love me and never leave me. Well, I guess the dream really is over. It's time to wake up. But I don't want to.

I'll love her. Today, tomorrow, until my heart beats for her.

"Alam mo naman na kahit anong mangyari hindi tayo magkakahiwalay diba? I love you."
-T

I still believe in that. Always will.

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:16:03 GMT

ANG KAY JUAN AY KAY JUAN.

ANG KAY PEDRO AY KAY PEDRO.

GETS?

MASAYA NA AKO.

THANK YOU.

:))

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 08:33:44 GMT

I'm sorry I don't support you with her.
I'm sorry I think she's not pretty.
I'm sorry I KNOW I'm better for you than her.
I'm sorry I didn't give you everything.
I'm sorry I met you.
I'm sorry I didn't do everything, didn't give you everything, didn't make you feel loved, and most of all I'm sorry I did all that I've ever done since I met you.
If only I could've been a better "ka-on" to you, I would've.
Except, it's too late.

Let me be the one to break it up so you don't have to make excuses.
You don't need to find a set up where someone wins and someone loses.
We just have to say our love WAS true, but has NOW become a lie.
So I'm telling you I love you one last time, and goodbye.

Just turn around and walk away.
We don't have to live like this.
But if you love me still, then stay.
Don't keep me waiting for that final kiss.
We can work together thorugh this test or we can work through it apart.
I just need to get this off my chest that

YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY HEART/
LET ME BE THE ONE. :|

MARRiAGE :)

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 12:37:53 GMT

THE BEST GIFT GOD CAN GIVE YOU IS THE GIFT

OF LOVE :>

Congratulations to my cousin Kuya Jo and to my new ate, Ate Nats. I commentated for their wedding this afternoon and it was such a serene, beautiful ceremony. Although it seemed as if my Kuya was still childish and practically only 20% ready to face the challenges of his married life, I saw in them (mostly in Ate Nats) that they wanted to grow together. Ate Nats seemed to be ready for it, a level headed, simple person should know how to navigate a marriage, shouldn't she? And my kuya, he just seemed so naive and happy as if he were a child learning to ride his bike for the first time. He enjoyed and kept on laughing and bid everyone goodbye as he went on down the road on his own. I envy them for looking so happy and inlove, their story was truly filled with love and of course the guidance of the Father. I know, soon, they will have kids, and they will learn more about each other and building a family. I remember when I was a kid, my kuya bullied me constantly, he was the biggest loudmouth I'd ever met. But on one instance, I heard him talking to someone, he was being so sweet and it was as if he was so open to listening (which is not typical of him, since he's more of a talker) :p I always wondered who the girl was, it was Ate Nats. Lucky girl, she's the only one who ever made my cousin shut up :p I love you both, best wishes :>

Some light to be shed on you, my dear :)

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 12:39:49 GMT

I want to say something great. Something that comes from my heart,
something that, years from now, people will quote me and use
as their principle in life. Yet, I've realized that the greatest
words come from the greatest people -- people that have seen the world
for what it truly is, very different from what Mama and Papa used to say.
The greatest sayings come with the greatest timing, the greatest sayings
aren't posted on a 14 year old's blog. The greatest teachings, principles,
and guides happen during times when it is needed. Not everyone is
great, but everyone can be great. Time will hone regular people
into "irregular" people -- the intellectual, reformists, activists, philosophers.
Only time can shape people into the great people they have been,
they are, and that they will be.

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 12:04:13 GMT

FAKE SMiLES. REAL TEARS. FAKE HAPPiNESS. TRUE SADNESS.

For a moment there, I was trapped in a tiny bubble wherein no
one could reach me enough to hurt me.

Alas, someone "burst my bubble".

Now, I'm as fragile as I was from the begginning.

So vulnerable to pain.

I have to quit acting like I'm the perfect person who's always
smiling.

I have to quit blaming other people for my misery -- because
I CAUSE MY OWN MiSERY.

I have to stop loving because I know it won't be reciprocated
by someone who's worth it.

I have to stop living a lie.

I have to unleash my feelings -- hopefully to get that knife
off my chest.

Everything just has to stop. I need to breathe.

Take a few steps back.

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:31:59 GMT

I SHALL NEVER POST ANYTHING ABOUT LOVE BECAUSE SIR GUE READS MY BLOG!

Hahaha! I hate you, Sr. Gue! You're blackmailing me :p haha. Daya! I'll find something to tease you about in your journals. Just you wait and see :p

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 09:31:25 GMT

TURN ONS BOUT GUYS :) [this is just my opinion]
1. BUFF BOD
- the broad shoulders
- the well defined chest
- preferably abs, although not needed so much
- nice ass :))

2. MANNERS
- must be polite
- respectful
- patient

3. AURA and CHARACTERiSTiCS
- the "angas" vibe
- someone who can beat another guy up FOR ME :))
- speaks straight english :|
- loves his momma.
- knows that diplomacy is key.
- is mayabang [in such a way that he knows what he's good at and isn't afraid to flaunt it]

So, yess. Years from now, I'm gonna dig up this trash and read it to my future "perfect boy" and tell him, "Hun, look. I posted a job vacancy years ago for you. What took you so long? :)) Hahaha" And that's gonna be the day I'll cherish :p

Sun, 19 Aug 2007 10:43:21 GMT

ITS ALL ABOUT

LOVING YOU

In a world wherein we feel we have to cater to the wants and needs of the society we somehow forget and ignore our happiness. Back in the day, when Greeks and Romans were hot, their perception of what the LAW was that it had to cater to YOUR happiness. If what you were doing was right and you were happy doing it, then you wouldn't have to worry about what the heck others thought. honey, just a reminder for you, YOU'RE FORGIVEN FOR BEING IMPERFECT :) So this leads me to the topic of how women are so concerned withe image. As ladies, we all are about the glamour. I get that, TOTALLY. So, today, as I was shopping I fitted some clothes in this stores dressing room. And I looked at myself in their mirror. Upon realizing that I was staring at myself for a minute or so, I found myself feeling so disgusted about myslef. The mirror was one of those mirrors, mirrors as how my bestfriend Jessica and I would name "The Insecurity Mirror". Some mirrors make you look good, and some make you look real bad together with the hideous lighting in the store. Right then and there, I realized the problem of women today. We all suffer from consciousness about or physical appearance. It's been said one too many times that true beauty starts from within and that the outside wouldn't really matter. Oh damn, if I could give everyone x-ray vision to see how I am within and maybe somehow, they'd appreciate me more. LOL. So I'm kidding about the x-ray vision. Its just that hundreds of women suffer from eating disorders because of the pressure to be thin. Some suffer from anxiety attacks when put in a situation where people start picking on her for maybe some flaws that are visible in her physical appearance. We suffer greatly from the pressure that the society puts on us about our appearance.

When I was in sixth grade, I fondly remember I was 88 pounds. And now, I don't even give a damn about what my weight is cos probably I tipped the scale years ago. LOL. But kidding asides, weight shouldn't be a problem. I think that full figured women are down right beautiful. It shouldn't be a cause of insecurity if you've got meat on your bones. At least you've got something the boyss can smack :)) Haha. So, I've finally deciced to just accept what I've got. Fat or bony. Tall or short. White or black.

HELL, I'M AS BEAUTIFUL AS IT'LL

EVER GET ;)

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 02:26:55 GMT

I feel bored. First, cos Jojo's somewhere in the forests of Laguna. [oh wait, are there forests there? lmao.] Hm,
there is no one else to talk to here in the f*ck*n metro. So, I guess maybe writing would be fun. I just created
my myspace acct. and yeah, its fly. :p LOL. Anyways, I'm speakin IM :)) Haha. BFH [bitch from hell] :)) Mwahaha.
There aren't any classes today, and yeah. Its supposed to be raining I think. I'm just really confused, cos they
keep suspending classed and when they do it never rains. Damn. OMFG. Yesterday, classes were suspended
and I called up my driver at 10 to pick me up at 11. He got to school at 1 cos of the fckin traffic. Then I got home
at 3. My house is just 20 mns. away without traffic :| Swear, it sucked. Tricia and I hung out at the back of the
car. We slept cos we were so tired and we ended up eating my baon cos we were so hungry. Then I
remembered I ate half of it that morning and we had to live through with 5 bites each cos it was super
konti nalang. :| Demn et. LOL. So, yeah. That was my day yesterday.

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 02:36:49 GMT

i LOOOOVE being single. Haha! I mean, I don't have to worry abt anyone anymore. But syempre I still worry about a couple of "someones" Haha. Labo man, but yeah. I'm just in the mood to write. So, wlang pasok kasi may bagyo. But it ain't even raining a bit outside. Napapagaya nako kay jojo sa kaka "ain't" niya :)) Haha. Sorry nman. Credits to jojo for always correcting my spelling. None the less, nonetheless. Whtever. Bla blah. Haha. I'm going around in circles and starting to write about nothing. Oh well, everything is pointless nowadays. Parang ung close-up na bago, ung resealabe, who needs that?! Toothpaste is toothpaste. Okay, I think I wrote something that did NOT make any sense at all. :)) haha. I'm going crazy about Geometry. I hate math, I mean when I'm the lead news anchor of CNN Asia or the pres. of the RP [which I'm sure I will be] I won't need polygons/geometric figures/right angles. I really won't need all that :| This is all a bunch of crap.

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 05:11:02 GMT

heey :] whats up you guys? sorry i don't post regularly. haven't been inspired much lately :p so i have a looot to talk about, especially now that its summer. it is a given that summer is the HOTTEST season ;) literally. haha :) of course spending summer at home is what most of us couch potatoes would do, i wanna try something new this summer '07. :) like:
-MORE PARTiES, please :) LUJURiA is coming up. its my bday party. y'all better bring dates :p or be my date! haha.

-dance class! something exotic like belly dancing or latin ballroom :) to play it safe, i'll just take jazz :)) haha.

-summer job. like proofread my mom's paper work and get paid a tthousand bucks for each magazine and newsletter i edit :] that'd be cool.

-practice my bartending skills ;)

-hangout with my best boys [marty&&monfort] :)

-hangout with my best girls [3gz <3, nica, banji] :)

-clean my room. give it a make over. buy a couch and a new bed.

-create an entirely NEW wardrobe. since i sold my clothes na :p haha.

-make a scrapbook :) that'd be totally awesome. :)

enough about me. what about you guys? gimme comments and suggestions on how i could spend my summer or even help you guys save youor summer from ultimate boredom. keep in touch :) TC. lots of love from MEEE :)

XOXO
.Carla-o3-.

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 10:58:50 GMT

Oh my freakin' gosh! Congratulations to my hottie cousin, Patricia Ann Rodriguez Mananquil! :) She's preggie! I loveee it! :) Good luck to you and to Kuya Joms. You so deserve the best baby in the world. She's got a spunky mom and an über hot dad! hahaha. i so wish you the best of luck with your kid! :) another addition to my cutie pamangkins. haha. Be sure to come home when before you give birth ah? i lovee you ate wa! Take care of my future pamangkin. I'll be ninang! hahaha. ;)

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 08:28:04 GMT

i have not posted in AGES. i really miss writing here and blurting out all the things i feel
( which wud usually get me into trouble ü) ahahaha. anyway, i am stuck in this dungeon
at the back of our school since our stupid i-net at home is REALLY slow. sorry ah, i-net
card pdn kme. hnd uso smen ang wi-fi :p hahaha. well, anyway. its been a rough few months
for me. school, lovelife and all. it comes with the "growing up" package. haha. break-ups,
make-ups. love, hate. friends, foes. shopping, boys. love, lust. so maybe the love and lust
part doesn't count. haha ü but yeah, thats the way the cookie crumbles :p yum yum. haha.
anyway, i'm going to lsgh soph night and dbti prom. does that rock or what?! :p i'm psyched
for it. i wanna look good for both events. plus, my mom's awarding on the 23rd ;) thats a must
to go to ü anyway, i'll be back maybe later. to update some more, i guess ü BOUNCE.

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 06:45:17 GMT

who am i talking about? ~~FRIENDS.~~
worth fighting for? hmm, depends what kind of friends they are. or are they REALLY friends or just accquaintances?

LIFE IS THE HARDEST WITHOUT THEM.
but, i have found it personally, easier not having any. its just that you don't have to worry about who you'll gimmick with next weekend or who you'll give xmas gifts to or who you have to please. not having any friends gives you enough "me" time. but there's still this part of me where it hurts when i think of my old friends, when i wonder how they're doing and how i choose to forget that they're living their lives perfectly without me. its just that all of y'all have gone through so much together but it gets thrown away coz of a remark you made or a mistake that can't be corrected. then you become an OUTCAST/ LOSER/ NOBODY. "hi friends and classmate." yeah, i know its me. i am a bitch but am not stupid or manhid :' ] i just wish that before you guys bombard me with these things you should've/would've asked. coz her side is different from mine. and the words DiD come out of MY mouth so why not ask me nlng. i just hate going through all of this drama and getting myself upset. more so getting everyone else hate me after this coz i sound like a loser making pacute. well, i guess i am a loser. a loser for wanting to have her "friends" back. but this loser just learned a new trick like a dog, and its called MOViNG ON. ;( so, goodbye to the people who made me learn alot about myself.

Sisters. My Girls. The Ladies. The Crew.
I love you girls no matter what you do
'Cause we've shared smiles && tears
A bond that won't stop...not even after years